Good and Bad, Mostly Bad, Ways to Fill Your Empty Soul: #15 Go on Safari

Go on Safari


What it Entails:

What it Entails:
This is the real deal. A genuine Back-To-Nature experience. Just the sort of thing our distant, distant, forefathers did. Granted, there are some differences. Our forefathers didn’t have mosquito netting, staff, jeeps, guides, malaria medication, metal tools, lightweight breathable fabrics, or regularly served meals, but apart from that, this is legit.

In any case, you and your fellow privileged travelers get in a jeep, and wander off the beaten path in undeveloped Africa while looking for animals going about their day-to-day routine. When you get back to the camp you compete with other travelers to see who saw the “Best” things, (If someone saw a team of ostriches doing merengue, they’re probably lying).

Do the same thing several days in a row. Fly home.

1. Majestic animals in their natural environment (unlike you, they don’t have staff).
2. Trip of a lifetime (like falling down the stairs of the Eiffel tower, but in a good way).
3. Fantastic safari wardrobe (nicer fabrics remember?), and your safari hat (the hat is key), make you feel like you’re having an adventure.

1. Malaria, you are paying to go places where you might catch malaria. Rethink this.
2. The lion just killed something! How exciting! You are now celebrating one animal killing another. You monster.
3. Thousands of pictures! Thousands! …Which you will likely never look at again, but will feel guilty about deleting. Barring a hard drive failure you’re stuck with them for life. Welcome to being a level one hoarder.

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