Good and Bad, Mostly Bad, Ways to Fill Your Empty Soul: #4 Painting!


What it Entails:
Dig deep within your soul and find a hitherto unsuspected love of paint fumes. Learn to love how they life you up and carry you to far away places with pink bunny rabbits. Paint every day hunting for lift from the fumes. Discard the silly concept of painting on canvas. These things are not for you, no! You needed a large mural, a wall. Discover the joy of painting graffiti. Spend hours creating complex love letters to your spray cans. Get caught, resist arrest, go to jail.

During your incarceration rise to the top of the social pyramid of your prison. Develop a network of people both inside and outside who can use to acquire more spray paint. Continue working on your art in your cell. Should your cellmate complain stare him down until you’ve mastered “Crazy eyes.”

Upon your release take advantage of your newfound criminal empire to ignore any need for a day job and instead return to graffiti. Should you be hassled again, use your underworld ties to manipulate the system.

1. Learn to paint.
2. Create criminal network.
3. Lower cost of utilities while incarcerated.

1. Must go to jail.
2. Spray paint can be expensive.
3. You may not look good in orange.

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